Tag Archives: #refugeeresettlement

Help The Helpless: Support Refugee Resettlement NOW

Dear Beloved Subscribers, Random Visitors, and Possible Government Workers,
I know I haven’t done so but I’d like to thank each and everyone of you for subscribing to my blog. For whatever reason you chose to waste valuable time reading my crap and I can’t thank you enough for it. 
            Unfortunately, I came to you for another reason: As many of you might be aware, Trump’s stance and rhetoric on refugees and immigration in the United States is one of unfounded, selective cruelty. His “travel ban” and his executive order on which countries he deems “a threat” has put a lot of Refugee Centers throughout the country at high-risk: So far, budgets have been slashed and jobs have been lost. Including my own.
            As heartbreaking as that is for me, it’s devastation does not compare to how it impacts the refugees both in this country and outside of the country desperate to breathe free (but rebuked by the Trump administration to “suck it up and buy a snorkeler”). 
            Which is why I come to you guys, the gentle internet users of the world (?): At the end of the 120 day ban, refugees from countries not banned already by the Trump Administration will be allowed to come back into the countries. They are going to need resources and people who know how to facilitate those resources. They cannot be cast aside just because our “Business Savvy” President erased everyone’s jobs. This cannot happen to our communities, especially the city where I come from, whose entire economy was rejuvenated by the refugees and the center that abled them to become productive members of society. I’m asking you to donate, if you can, to https://www.mvrcr.org/donate/contribute/. 
           We only have less than 4 months before the ban is lifted and my goal is to raise at least $10,000 AND, as incentive, I am offering prizes to those with proof of donations:
  •    Those who donate $20 will receive a random book from my own stash. If you’re like me and will literally read anything, you’ll love this: Maybe you’ll get Han Kang’s “The Vegetarian”. Maybe you’ll get Eminem’s autobiography “The Way I Am”. Maybe you’ll get my 10th grade European History Textbook I never gave back! Hell, maybe you’ll get that copy of Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban that I drunkenly wrote “Taylor Swift sucks” into the columns of the book. IT’S JUST THAT RANDOM.
  • Those who donate $35 will receive TWO random books and I will crank call anybody of your choice and harass them in Spanish. Laugh until you pee as I call your bewildered grandfather “una pendejo de burro”.
  • Those who donate $50 I personally write you a short story of your own design: Want me to write a 10 page story of you fighting off 10-foot tall Zombie-Vampires while Maggie Smith narrates the entire scene? I can do it. Want a hardcore erotic-fanfiction of you getting fucked by your celebrity/ fictional crush? I can do it. Hell, for the lazy students, want me to write that paper on the influences of secret police organizations during the Decline of Stalin? SEND ME YOUR EMAIL KID AND I CAN FUCKING DO IT.
  • Those who donate $75 AND have a book they desperately need reviewed: Not only will you get two random books, I’ll read your book, PRAISE THE SHIT OUT OF IT ON MY BLOG (even if it’s bad) and on every social media platform I have, I WILL ALSO personally critique your next novel idea and give you my honest-to-Jebus opinion on it.
  • Those who donate $100, I will send everything above PLUS an obscure band-tee. Be the hipstery-hipster this side of the Mississippi with a band-tee from a small upstate New York town that nobody will EVER hear of.

So please. Do what you can! If you can’t donate, I get it but still do your civic duty: Call your representatives. Express your outrage. Have your voice be heard! We can’t let this presidency determine the fate of our friends, neighbors and community. We only have so much time before who knows what will happen.Thank you!!