Tag Archives: #parody

Perverted Edgar Allan Poe Lines Taken Out Of Context

Who knew Edgar Allan Poe, the sad-alcoholic/ every Goth kid’s spiritual guru, could be so unintentionally dirty?


“Jupiter…rushed in leaped upon my shoulders, and loaded me with caresses; for I had shown him much attention during previous visits.” (The Gold-Bug)


“Oh, you would have laughed to see how cunningly I thrust it in! I moved it slowly—very, very slowly, so that I might not disturb the old man’s sleep. It took me an hour to place my whole head within the opening…” (The Tell-Tale Heart)


“I felt that I lay upon my back, unbound. I reached out my hand, and it fell heavily upon something damp and hard.” (The Pit and the Pendulum)


“‘Ugh! Ugh! Ugh!—Ugh! Ugh! Ugh!—Ugh! Ugh! Ugh!—Ugh! Ugh! Ugh!—Ugh! Ugh! Ugh!’”

“My poor friend found it impossible to reply for many minutes.” (The Cask of Amomtillado)